“Unbreak My Heart” an e-short by Tamika Newhouse #PassionateSpot

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My eyes seemed heavier today than it did on yesterday. Perhaps all the tears I could muster up had dried out and the swelling had begun. I was tired of crying. Hell I was tired of this pain in my chest. A broken heart.

Fuck!

How the hell did I end up with a broken heart? I thought I was safe this go round. But with a name like Alonzo I should had known.  I cursed under my breath and finally roll over to the side of the bed and Wince in pain.

I eyed my pipe and lighter and thought about taking another hit. But I shook my head and opted to get out of the house instead.

“I love you. I’ve never loved anyone like you before.” Alonzo’s voice echoed in my head and it forced more weight on my heart. I lean forward and breathed in and out.  Rapidly trying to catch my breath.

“My heart Hurts Lord. This shit just isn’t fair.” I didn’t care about cussing in my quest to question God about why I was suffering right now. On why I chose to love a man who did nothing but lie and waste my time.

As I began to walk towards my bathroom the buzzing of my phone halted my steps. I grabbed it and went to my text alerts. Alonzo!

Leave it to this ass hole to speak sweet bull shit until  his lies hits the fan and splattered all over my now broken heart. My eyes just studied his texts. His lyrical I’m sorrys waving like a rescue flag in the sky screaming “belive me. Feed into my bullshit so that I can waste more of your time!”

I’m not going to lie. Deep inside I just want him to take it all back. I want him to unbreak my heart. I still cared. I still loved him. And rolled my eyes and took my thumb to write back some ugly message. I just wanted him to feel my pain. To understand that now I was alone.

But my finger was stuck.  The beginning of my text read, “I gave you everything…” and then I thought.  He doesn’t even deserve to know that he had me. That I was completely and absolutely loyal to him. That I lived and breathed him. That I made plans for us.

I threw my phone on to the bed. “Fuck that nigga!”

With my heavy heart and with my swollen eyes I took four huge steps to my bathroom and studied my reflection. I was beautiful but in this moment I was dark, colorless, aged, sad. Look at what love did to me.

Was this love ? Was love this incomplete feeling that resulted in unimaginable pain?  I closed my eyes and squeezed them real tight as if I were Dorothy from the wizard of Oz wishing to go back to Kansas.

“Get it together Roslyn. You are a good woman who just loved the wrong man.”

I opened my eyes and starred at myself again.  Step 1 go ghost on that nigga. Step 2 wash your ass and your face.  Step 3 put on that dress that makes your ass look like a stallion. Step 4 pull out that rolodex and call up Timmy or John, that cute guy from the bar, Eric, Jerome, or shit call Tyrone and get you a drink, some food, and a smile. And if you want to get a nut while you’re at it; by all means do you!

I laughed at myself as my thoughts went into overload. I couldn’t believe I was faced with dating again. But at least I had options. Does he think I’m going to just sit around? He didn’t know Roslyn like he  thought he did.

I walked into my room grabbed my cell erased the words,  “I gave you everything.” And replaced it with,  “You good Alonzo.  Xo” I scrolled through my contacts and stopped on Eric.  “Hmmmmm I wonder.”

I clicked his name and texted, “hey!”. I fell back onto my sheets and smirked as I waited on a text back.  “The best way to get over one is to get under a new one.”

The buzz of my phone broke my thoughts. Eric”s text read,  “hey beautiful.” I laughed out as I started write back.

Now where was that dress…….

Poetry: “Sweets” by Tamika Newhouse

Do you want me to cum?1531995_1495843733974139_242503821_n

Do you want me to feed you Her?

I close my eyes and imagine him there. Starring and admiring that black circle of life. Sweets.

Expanding and contracting in and out taking in his very scent. Ohhhhh My warrior. Feel free to rise.

Tickling my desire with the mount of his tool. Bracing myself for impact I breath in. I breath out. I breathe in. I breath out.

Imagine a man so perfect for Sweets that she only reacts to him. Imagine how only His touch can send Her high. Higher than any physical high this world could give. It is not of this world. He is not of this world. He is for her. She is for him. Mmmmmmmmmm my warrior.

Let me rewind my thoughts. I call him King. Because he rules over Her. Who is Her? (laugh) Only my black circle of life. He calls her sweets. I am his and He is mines.

I can feel him, strong and long, and taking control of me. He is my warrior, my desire, my ecstasy filling me up and satisfying every oooooo and ahhhhh. I move up and down. Up and down and finally come to a stop. And as a thank you Sweets squeezes her warrior tightly and seals it with a kiss.

Hey King!

Copyright 2014 by Tamika Newhouse

Does this speak to your heart? #PassionateSpot

“I want to make it easy for you to love me. I want you to trip and fall in love with me. I want you to roll out of bed and slip into loving me. Love is hard enough without doubt, without worry. I want to love you easy. I’ve crossed you off the list of people who could ever insult or offend me. I’ve crossed you off the list of jealousies. We each have lives of our own, lives hard enough with searching for more pain. I am a great wilderness where you are concerned, be lost in me. I am a great emptiness, fall into me. I want to make it easy for you to love me, to just be and love me. Just be.”

— Peregrine

Lyrical Lounge: Just thinking….

Starring at my inner reflection,

that mysterious black circle of life between my legs,

Between my thighs.

Expanding. Contracting.

Breathing in and out; in and out.

Who lives between the gentle curves of my lips between my hips?

Who with the nearest touch can send me high?

Who hides but only my man’s eyes?

My man stares at my black circle of life; yet warm and moist.

Welcome my warrior feel free to rise and rise.

My man is my drug; my natural ecstasy.

Filling me up and satisfying each and every oooo and ahhh.

I move up and down; up and down and finally come to a stop.

My man…my warrior…hmmmmmmmm. Just thinking.

 

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