I can’t remember being just Mika

“If I were to give up where would I be? What would I do with my life? Daily I walk into my purpose and claim what is mines. I fear nothing but God and know that each step I take in my purpose is one step closer to continuing out this dream. I’m on a dream mission.”

Just a day after I decided to put on my work out gear and run outside in the stormy rain I was mentally and physically a mess. It always seems that the moment you are in that happy place the devil or the people he uses comes around to tear you down. I like to think that I am a strong person mentally and in strength. But sometimes you just want to cry. Cry it all out to rebuild your strength.

But for that moment of running in the rain not only was I soaked and cold but my mind was free. I suddenly didn’t have a care in the world. At that moment I wasn’t this CEO of Delphine Publications or the founder of AAMBC. I wasn’t liable for the careers of 11 other authors, I wasn’t a mother, I didn’t have bills to pay, a car to get the oil changed in, I didn’t have to send an annoying email to an annoying client, I wasn’t a writer with six best-selling novels. I wasn’t anything but just Mika. Wow I haven’t been just Mika in a very long time.

I don’t quite know how it feels to wake up and know that there’s food in the fridge, that the lights will be on in the house, and that I have clothes in my closet and not have the responsibility to ensure all of these things happened. I don’t quite remember feeling safe in my mother’s arms, or asking my bigger sister for advice because I didn’t know any better. Where did the time go? When did I start having all of these responsibilities? When did this ish all happen?

But in that half hour of me running outside in the storm getting wet, shivering, and on the breach of catching pneumonia I remembered all those things I had when I was just Mika. When I wasn’t a CEO or a mom and when I didn’t have a responsibility in the world but to myself. Damn I miss that. I think I am going to go run in the rain again. Just so I can remember Mika.

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Comments

  1. Gone on Mika and own all that you are and to become!!!!!!!

    Ollie

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