I changed the inside of me….

If I were to sit and think of my past failures what would that do for me? Would it discourage me, resurface my pain, or will it be my motivation? If I were to remember my failed attempts to make myself a better me would it detour me, destroy my recent attempts, or empower my current efforts. I took the liberty of looking at “Mika” in the mirror and remembering the person she use to be. From the outside I was so young, so vibrant, so youthful, and overly confident. But somewhere in between my growing up and going through what we call “Life” I forgot about her.

I missed her. The young, so vibrant, so youthful, and overly confident Mika. I was 22 and hitting 250 pounds. From a dream seeker who sought out running track in the Olympics to now a mother of two with a stalled desire to return to my original me. But I dealt with the aftermath of my weight gain. Dealt with it to just live. But I was living unfulfilled and I was now facing my mother’s same fate. A woman who died only 20 years after giving birth to her youngest child due to being overweight, unhealthy, and unfortunately lacked the devotion to change it.

I calculated my life. Compared it to my mother. I had my youngest child at 20. If I were to follow in my mother’s footsteps would I die now at 40? Would I die from being unhealthy as I was now having the same health complications as she? I was now living the dream of being a published writer. I was traveling and meeting my supporters who enjoyed the stories I wrote. But now….now that I was living my dream I feared dying too soon and missing on the opportunity to enjoy my dream.

My efforts to change my interior was about to change my exterior. I put down the unhealthy foods I was consuming. I got off of my ass and I began to change my life in February 2011. I stripped myself of my bad habits, my unhealthy circle, and my unhealthy thinking. I didn’t diet. I still haven’t dieted. I simply changed Mika. Becoming a better me on the inside. The reward was……………well my reward was now being a better me on the outside. But most important I change myself on the inside.

I embrace me now on a daily bases. How I live today is how I will live tomorrow. Continuing to change the way I think in order to change the way I look, feel, and behave. I am not a new Mika. I simply missed the young, so vibrant, so youthful, and overly confident Mika. And even now my journey still continues.

Changing me was one thing….helping others; now that’s my next goal.



  1. You look amazing! Beautiful from the inside out!

  2. Book Schnook says:

    Awesome paradigm shift. KUDOS! 😉

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