Who am I, really?

I didn’t ask you to judge me. I have never been the one to kiss up to no one. As if you are the creator of my world and can decide whether I live or die. As if you can tell me if I will go to heaven or hell. Or did I mention you acting as if you can show me the direction to go in life. I have been on my own for a long time now. I ain’t depending on anything and no one. Not because I didn’t want the help, but only because there was no one there. Imagine being a mother at sixteen. Having no choice but to go ahead and grow up. To look at my mother and now be a mother. At sixteen, are you serious?

But that was the card I was dealt. The card that said, grow up and get over it. Yeah I made some mistakes but I can’t say that I regret them. Wait, am I supposed to regret them. What are mistakes for anyway? Are they meant to hurt me, to make me cry because I have cried a time or two? Ok I am lying; I’ve cried plenty of times because of a mistake. But you know what I think you are supposed to learn from them. I learned to save time here and there, to leave him and her alone, to close my legs to them and to turn my nose up at those folks.

So I think I am owed a head nod of approval, you know. Because I feel like even though I did make some mistakes that at least I’m not repeating them. Like I said before; I didn’t ask you to judge me. Instead pray for me. Pray for me to do better. Can you do that for me?

 

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