We live together so why not get married.

Okay so I have heard this same line on many of occasions. Now of course I know that marriage isn’t easy. It’s not like the fairy tale ending where the man and women live happily ever after. A marriage is an everyday thing. You have to work at it. I know you have heard of the phrase “shacking” from the ole school mothers and grandmothers. They do not believe in it. For more then one reason or another I do believe that a man and women do really need to know each other before they commit to marriage. And unfortunately you really don’t know who that person is until you have lived with them. Now just because you may live together doesn’t mean you HAVE to get married. Just because you may have a child with a person doesn’t mean you HAVE to marry them. You marry for love. NO MATTER WHAT! Remember work at your relationship and agree that you and your mate are one, and then you can take that step into marriage. No sooner.

Do I have some one who agrees or disagrees? I want to know your thoughts.

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Comments

  1. i happen to be one that thinks if i am good enough to do all the things a WIFE would do then i should be good enough to be given the legal title! BUT i as well as some of you im sure have heard of people that have LIVED together for years then gotten married only to have it fall apart? So some say if its working then dont change it dont fix it… i say if you know early on that your goal is to be married then you need to relay that to your potential mate early on. while dating, while discussing your future your needs your wants your expectations? WAIT do people do that anymore? or do we just see someone go on a date ro two and oh thats my man thats my woman? but what at all do you know about that person youve just claimed?
    Some say thats where you get to know them… I say get to know them B$ you committ, get a few IMPORTANT items out the way ASAP and dont waste time. You want kids he dont, he wants to get married you dont, he wants to move to VA your fine near your family ETC.. why dont people ask questions anymore….

    anyway, i also dont think you have to spend YEARS gettin yo know someone b4 you know if he/she is marriage material… ive learned from men they usually can tell really early on if a woman is someone they’d marry or consider…
    i think today people are scared to talk to say what they want and just go with the flow far too often, instead of being upfront.
    and contrary to some belief if a man says he just wants sex and a woman leaves him alone its NOT because she cant appreciate his honesty its because thats NOT whats shes looking for so why waste her time! or ice versa///
    i think we marry no totally for love but for convince, fr our future, our dreams and some selfish reasons… love alone wont make any relationship work let a lone a marriage people fall in and out of love daily. it takes GOD and a clear vision of what is expected from each other a open mind, heart, communication, financial responsibly and more….

  2. I was married for twenty years until my husband died in 2005 (cancer). I was 45 years old at the time and he was 48 years old. Our marriage was not a happy one but i stay by his side until the end ( he was a alcholic and a very controlling person).

    It was a very scarry thing after twenty years to start dating again. So much has changed in this time. I have a special child ( 13 years old when her dad died). I felt that not many men would want to get involved with a woman with a special needs child ( Autism). I never thought that i would meet some one special. I meet a old frind from college and we have been seeing each other for a year now and he has asked me to marry him. He is a kind , loving , considerate man. I never thought that it was possible to be this happy.

    When you meet some you have to look at the whole picture . You will know when you have meet that special person whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. I have a second chance at life and happiness. We are planning a future together. All of the right ingredients are there for all three of us to live happily ever after.

  3. Angela Sandoval says:

    The love and God holds the relationship together. We must as a couple learn thats its not always about you. That sometimes its albout what they are going through be an ear dont always try to fits it.
    Just listen and love him for who he is with all your heart and soul

    Have a Bless Day
    God is always Good
    Peace Angela

  4. Brenda Gibson says:

    Whether or not two people living together should be married is a controversial issue today. Back in the day, girls were not allowed to have boys go to their bedroom let alone “shack” with them. In today’s society, there are so many things going on that our predecessors would not approve. I was married for 20 years before I got divorced. I currently live with a man that I am not married to. We have a child together. He has never been married and does not want to get married EVER. He thinks that marriage is just something to do and could make a situation worse. In his opionion, that piece of paper give some people authority to rule the others. Not all people marry for love nowadays. Sometimes it is done for convenience. My situation did present a problem with our child early on when he started asking questions. He wanted to know why his other three siblings do not have the same daddy as he do? Why is it that me and his other siblings have a different last name than he does? He is better understanding it now because a lot of his classmates don’t even live with their biological parents. Being married to your mate is becoming a thing of the past.

  5. I don’t believe you necessarily have to get married even if you have been together for a long time and live together. People get married for all the wrong reasons and nobody takes the time to actually get to know the person they want to marry. It does take time to know if you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone. You can’t possibly know how somebody feels about you after having only known them for a year. We have a hard enough time figuring ourselves out let alone a whole other human being. My husband and I were together for 5 years before we got married and I wouldn’t have it any other way. And even though we are very happily married, we probably would not have done so if our families didn’t bring it up every five minutes. Marriage is definitely something you both must really want. Otherwise, it won’t work.

  6. It really depends on the two people. Are you rooming together to save money or are you rooming together because you want to spend the rest of your life with the person. If you want a long time committment with the person, then why not get married??? Why settle for being just a roommate with benefits???

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