Tamika Newhouse was a HOT ass mess!

Image is everything. I had to learn that the hard way after seeing some older pics of myself. Talk about that was not hot, that was a hot ass mess! But hey we live and we learn right?

Let me take you back a little. If you are reading this blog you know who I am, if not my name is Tamika, I am a writer. I didn’t choose to write, writing chose me and I took it and ran with it. Going into my fifth year of being a published writer I had to take a step back and review my overall image.

In other words I was looking a hot as mess. Let’s review some of the images below;

 

Number one: My attire did not compliment my full figure

Number two: My face was plain and lacked any make up

Number three: I either had a greasy face and the oil built up was working in overdrive

Number four: My attire lacked any thought. I did not coordinate what I wanted to wear or plan out my outfits for appearances.

Number five: Many times my shoes didn’t even match my outfit. Hint to the ladies black does not go with everything.

Number six: Sometimes I went without a manicure. STOP! Major fail there; because sometimes I didn’t even get the toes done.

All in all I was disinterested in shopping, I didn’t care about dressing up, and to top that off I had no desire to dress up. Now don’t get me wrong;  a sista wanted to look fly but I just didn’t know how. So I tried to go at it alone. Now remind you I had to attend speaking engagements and book signings and sometimes I would show up in jeans and a t-shirt. #MajorFail I did not know I had to dress the part to be the part. Who was going to take me serious looking like that?

 Changing up what I messed up:

Somewhere down the line I got tired of my pictures being mediocre. And I was tired of seeing folks post pictures of me with them up and my reaction being, “no no no.” Seeing myself look a hot mess is motivation enough for me to change up the way I was looking. Now like Wendy says, “she’s a true wiggy.” Well so was I. But one day I took the wigs off and tossed them up in my closet. Next came the weight, read up in my blog to see how I battled that, but finally losing 70 lbs it was time to tackle my attire.

Now I knew nothing about fashion and as I stated I hated shopping. It was boring, but now I realize I hated shopping because I didn’t like how the clothes fit on me. Takes a confident person to admit that out loud, but hey it’s the truth.

Now I didn’t know the first thing about dressing up or putting on makeup and that’s where I found myself an image consultant. An image consultant takes you and creates a unique profile to establish a better you from health, beauty, fashion, the way you speak, think, and walk. I did a total change. Taking my new found desire to change the way I looked I knew I had to change the way I act as well. I forced myself to become more personable, to seek out new contacts and mingle at social events and so forth. In other words I became a new me.

My consultant lastly became my stylist, styling me for red carpet events, book/media tours, appearances, and book signings. She would place my attire together and teach me the ropes on how to do it myself. Not only that she taught me how to place on makeup and I promise you ladies it is a science to it, it’s not like just putting on paint.

Did I forget to mention I cut my hair? Wearing my hair natural and short has also changed my personality; let’s just say I am very confident. And all of these changes didn’t happen overnight, it took months and a year in all for my weight loss.

Now was it worth it? Well you look at the pictures below and tell me? And no I am not a hot ass mess anymore, wink!

Find my stylist on Twitter @itsgood2bdia and tell her I sent you

 

This faith walk here…

Whewwwwww its 2012. I cannot believe I am walking into my fifth year of doing this thing. This thing I call a faith walk. Meaning I closed my eyes and believed in what I was doing and just did it. I could go on and on and name out my accomplishments so far in 2011 or since I became a published writer in 2008 but I don’t need to do that. I can simply state God has blessed me.

Walking into 2012 I was so focused and even made personal changes in my own life. Made connections with so many important individuals and have started my transition on relocating outside of Texas. Now that’s a first because I am a cowgirl at heart. I don’t think so many are receptive to my “Howdy’s” but hey it’s me.

I am already currently writing on three novels as we speak and my schedule is getting tight with a possible five book releases in 2012, a video shoot schedule in Vegas for my new company Obsessive Soul Media and a media tour in the process of that.

Whew this faith walk is serious. I am going to take a moment and just smile, smile in all its glory and all of what God has given me because after all he didn’t have to give this to me. He could have said Mika you don’t deserve this, or Mika you ain’t ready. And I may not be ready for something’s which is why I am still not satisfied with my current success.

But hey if I continue to walk with my eyes close and just listen perhaps in 2012 I will get the many blessings I wasn’t ready for but now can take and blossom with them. Shoot who knows even the sky isn’t the limit in my world.

 

Aftermath of the African American Literary Awards

Whew where do I start? It took me a few days to be able to write this blog post simply because a sista was taking a break from her NYC trip. Besides for the rain that never stopped pouring down NYC was great as always. I find myself in the city several times a year and on this trip it was for the African American Literary Awards. The only premiere award show honoring African American literature is held in NYC every year. I had been in attendance since my 2009 win when I took home two statuettes.

This year I had plans to be one of the many presenters there at the awards from Emmy-nominated stage and screen actor Ruben Santiago Hudson, Essence cover editor Mikki Taylor, television personality and model Melyssa Ford, plus model Angellika Morton, William Beaty (NY Giants), Power 105 personality Malikha Mallette, Tobias Truvillion (One Life To Live, Brooklyn’s Finest), Today Show contributor and former Ebony EIC Harriette Cole, Tara Dowdell (Fox News and MSNBC contributor), media maven Amy Andrieux (CEO Aimstar Media) and I was teamed up with Miles Marshall Lewis .

The night was awesome the food was catered by Melba’s restaurant and it was so tastey that it had my toes curling in approval. I had the pleasure of sitting next to my great friend Carol Mackey as we chopped it up and laughed about various things. After I had presented my category I was surprised to hear the reading of the first category I was nominated in, Self Published Author of the Year. The same category I won my debut year out I was up for again for the third time. But it was bittersweet as my best friend Ni’Cola Mitchell and a close associate Rahiem Brooks were both nominated in the same category. Talk about a weird situation.

The whole voting process was nerve wrecking as I campaigned for my fellow nominees and not myself.  I figured let’s share the love and lets allow us all to hold a winning title but when my name was called as the winner, I felt my entire life slip beneath me. With my mouth held wide open and my knees barely holding me up; I walked toward the podium in awe. I did not expect to win this title. And it humbled me  to know that people voted for me. And that I thank my supporters for. Giving my fellow nominees a shout out, I didn’t know what to say or have a speech planned. I should have thanked the voters, I should have looked up and thanked God, I know I should have thanked my late mother, and all my close friends and family. But its true being surprised like that can take away your thought process.

All in all I grabbed my award and wobbled back to my seat being asked to take pictures in the process. After hearing Michael Eric Dyson give a powerful speech and witness a few more awards, I snuck back to the back to sit with my friends. I wanted to show them my award up close but to only be surprised with the announcement of the last category I was nominated in. My best friend Ni’Cola Mitchell and I were nominated for Bets Anthology for Between the Sheets as well as a host of many talents in the book. Again I did not expect to win anything else but that became a moot point when again I was announced the winner for Best Anthology.

Taking in the scene this time, I nodded toward Ni’Cola and told her to come on as we accepted our award. I strutted toward the front staying focused on my walk so that I wouldn’t fall and missing the jokes friend and fellow winner K’Wan was dishing out. At the podium I handed the microphone to Ni’Cola who said a quick thank you and invited fellow writer Michael McGrew up to bask in our win as he was a contributor writer as well.

On cloud nine at this point, I looked over the audience to take in this moment. A moment I know I would never forget and proceeded to walk back to my seat. I started to reflect on that night from being succumbed to the photographers on the red carpet for photos, to autographing copies of The Ultimate NO NO that were donated to the awards to being able to share the spotlight with my friends.

That night was magic. It was passion. It was surreal. It was a dream comes true. Whew I can’t wait till next year because regardless or not a sista will be there with bells on. And if Melba’s restaurant is catering I will have a doggy bag to go this time.

Congrats to all the winners you are all top notch writers

Tamika

The Power of The African American Literary Awards

It’s one thing to be a writer and to be welcomed by your peers, but to be honored by them elevates the appreciation I have for the annual African American Literary Awards. Like many author’s today I started off as a self-published author. With one foot in front of the other I was destined to let the world know about my book one reader at a time. And we know as authors that this is a very long and tedious journey.

The award show had only taken place twice before my debut in 2009 but it had an immediate strong presence in the African American literary community. In its first year it honored writers such as Eric Jerome Dickey, Wahida Clark, Nikki Giovanni, and L.A. Banks. And in 2008 they continued to honor those that affected us the most through their pen such as Victoria Christopher Murray, Walter Mosley, J.M. Benjamin, Zane, and Jill Scott. And in 2009 only nine months after the release of my debut novel I took home the title of Self Published Author of the Year as others like Zane, Faith Evans, Blair Underwood, and Maya Angelou were honored.

Till this day I cannot believe I am an AALAS recipient. I am blessed to share that title with many of the elites I have previously listed. The power of this show brings out the best in the business from magazine editors, agents, publishers, publicist, actors, singers, poets, and philosophers and in the midst there was me. The effect of that award would soon land me a major book deal without an agent and soon enough I would discover the power of networking.

Consistently being nominated for three years in a row in 2010 I was able to witness the brilliance of Dr. Cornel West and Sonia Sanchez. More than anything I was able to witness the genuine love and support that each and every one gave to the winners such as Carol Mackey, K’Wan, Noire, Sherri Shepard, Carl Weber, and Kimberla Lawson Roby.

There is nothing like this show. It is a night of love, laughter, fun, and support. And now in 2011 I look at my fellow nominees for self-published author of the year Rahiem Brooks, Ni’Cola Mitchell, and D.A. Williams and smile because they are about to witness a life changing experience.  I cannot wait for September 22 to see who walks across that stage, holds that award in their hand, and embrace their moment, the moment I witnessed as a new author, the moment that help gear me in the right direction. And if it wasn’t for Yvette Hayward creating such a life changing award these moments wouldn’t happen.

So I want to send a virtual congrats to all the nominees for this year’s 2011 African American Literary Award Show. You are all winners and remember the true journey starts that night.

Good Luck!

Tamika N.

How in the world did Tamika get so damn skinny?

I was well into be a big woman. Meaning I was just over weight. Now I do not knock my big girls at all. Hey I was proud to be one, but that wasn’t the issue. When I saw my blood pressure rise and continue to rise I knew I had to do something. My weight gain started at the age of about 20, now I had already had one child at 16 but my body bounced back then. But when I became pregnant with my son, it was all over. A sista started to get thick in all the right places until it turned horribly wrong lol. I can laugh about it now, but huffing and puffing to climb the stairs ain’t funny. I was 247 pounds. Yes I don’t round it up to 250 lol.

Now I was still very confident and a huge flirt at that, but I knew that I was headed down the same road my mother walked. Unfortunately for me though unlike my mother I started having children at 16, so my health became more at risk early on. My mother had her first child at 27 and had diabetes and high blood pressure by mid 30s and was dead at 52. So I started calculating, would I die in my 30s? Will my weight gain and hypertension cause me to die young?

Now don’t get me wrong, I knew what the odds were and that I would more likely die young if I didn’t do something about my health. It wasn’t about looking fly and having a flat stomach, shoot I just wanted to be healthy. I have two kids that I want to see grow up. So it took me a minute to get serious. I procrastinated for a long time about starting a new life change. Notice I said life change and not a diet, because diets never last. I needed to start a new habit not a temporary fix.

In February 2011 I finally got my big butt up and went to a Zumba class. Now this is a salsa type aerobics class. And I recommend anyone to exercise the fun way. I hate weight lifting and a boring ass jog. I needed something I was going to look forward to. I started going to this class and danced my ass off, shaking what my mama gave me. And I’ll be real honest I was huffing and puffing and thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest. I was so out of shape it wasn’t funny.

But the most important thing is I had so much fun in this class burning up to 800 calories that I was looking forward to going to it. I was at home rushing to cook dinner and get the kids homework done so I can leave and get to my class. It was my me time. But on the flip side I didn’t change my eating yet. A sista was still scoffing down her cat fish, hamburgers, fries, meat loaf, and ooooo did I mention peach cobbler. I’m drooling right now, but back to my point. I didn’t come off the bat and say I’m going to exercise and eat right because let’s be honest we have to do it slowly.

I think most people never commit to a life change or diet because they try to change too much too soon. Take it slow and maintain something first. If you can change you’re eating first then do it, if not try to exercise first. So with going to Zumba I managed to lose five pounds and maintain my weight.
After a moth of Zumba and going to the gym, I tackled what I like to call my master cleaner. No not that diet though, but a liquid diet. I drank protein shakes, jello, pudding, broth, and anything considered a liquid for two straight weeks dropping over 18 pounds. This was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Remind you I couldn’t eat my fried chicken or anything that was tasty. Just a damn protein shake. I can say damn now because I’m passed that phase, but a girl was upset and hungry. But I stuck it out. Now I knew once it was time to start eating regular food again I had to take it slow.

So now I fix my foods on a saucer because if I get a full plate Ill want to eat all of that food and let’s be honest we all need to eat the size of our hand. With doing that I am not able to eat as much as I use to anymore and with maintaining my exercise and BAM I am down over 60 pounds. I think I pulled a Jennifer Hudson lol.

But it was all worth the turmoil to lose that weight. I went shopping in the skinny girl store the other day and I could fit a medium. I am down to a size 10 from a size 18 and well let’s just say I am more conceited then before. You’ll really hate me now lol.

On the other hand, I still can’t sing, can’t dance worth a dime but at least now I look good as hell trying. What about you? Do you want to lose some weight? Not to look good but to be healthy, shoot because if you do there is nothing stopping you but yourself. So get your lazy butt up and live. And live hard because Lord knows I plan to. I know I’ll die one day but not because I’m fat and unhealthy but by the grace of God I’ll die old and with a pen in my hand writing my latest story.

~Tamika
Smooches!

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